How Iconography re-"writes" my outlook on life...

Two weeks ago I wrote about painting or "writing" the Archangel Michael. Last week my Iconography class painted Abba Moses of Ethiopia and St. Mary of Egypt. Here's what happens when I paint or  "write" the icon of such saints: I get to know them and I begin to realize who I want to be in Christ.

With every new pattern applied and with every stroke of detail ... especially the fine detail lines of the features ... I remembered or heard new stories of their life and commitment to The Lord and as I meditated on that, my heart gave thanks for their example, repented of my own (or sometimes our own, meaning the Church today) selfishness and sinfulness, and then, sought for God's Kingdom and righteousness to be that present in my own life.

Abba Moses of Ethiopia

For example, here is one story from Abba Moses: A brother in the monastery was caught in a sin (I don't know what one, but it doesn't matter for the point of the story) and all the brothers needed to be present to assign penance. Abba Moses was sent for but did not come. He was sent for again and this time he came carrying a leaking bag of sand on his shoulder. When the brothers asked him what he was doing Abba Moses replied, "My sins run out behind me and I do not see them, but today I am coming to judge the errors of another." When the brothers heard this they forgave their brother and all left the matter behind them. 

How many times I have wanted to punish another for something he/she has done to me or to another or to the church? Abba Moses reminds me that following Jesus is the way of forgiveness ... in the manner that I have been forgiven. Some would ask, "But, what about correction and accountability?" Yes, I understand that need within the bonds of Christ's love. And yet, I ask myself, "I wonder* how that brother who stood waiting for penance responded when he heard Abba Moses' words and saw the other brothers walk away in forgiveness?" Is there a possibility that he brazenly lived on in that community, thinking he got away with something? Maybe. If so, what was that life really like for him? Did he really get away with something? I don't think so. He would still have been carrying his own bag of sand. I think rather he turned and sought to live more like Abba Moses ... like Jesus ... in humble service to his brothers. 

May we all be strengthened by God's Holy Spirit to live the same.

*Are you Godly Players smiling that I still "wonder" about stories? 

Archangel Michael

Archangel Michael

So, here's what I learned this week:
How I want to "write" this icon next time. Actually, as I was on my pilgrimage through this process this week I thought that I needed to write this icon over and over again... maybe one a week for a month ... so that I could get closer to the result I wanted. Then, it dawned on me. Isn't that what we do as Christians every day? Don't we get up and say our prayers and ask God to help us to be His people and do good in the place we live and love Him more and give thanks to Him and ... ? Don't we do this over and over again to get closer to the result we want? To be less of me and more like Him, Jesus our Lord and Master?

Tomorrow in liturgical services (RCL) we will hear the story of the woman who cries tears of repentance over Jesus feet, washing them and drying them with her hair. She anoints his feet with ointment. (Luke 7) And, she is forgiven of her sins because of her faith, because she loves much ... loves Jesus much ... and breaks open her heart for him. What a precious, wonderful gift that humble heart is when given to our Lord ... given to Him over and over again every day. That is an icon that gives us a window into heaven, that helps us along our journey of knowing God.

The Icon: Pilgrimage of Prayer

Sir Walter Raleigh, a poet-adventurer living during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, wrote:

Give me my scallop-shell of quiet,

My staff of faith to walk upon,

My scrip of joy, immortal diet,

My bottle of Salvation,

My gown of glory, hope’s true gage;

And then I take my pilgrimage.

He may have written that about taking pilgrimage to the Holy Land, but when I read it I thought  of writing/painting an icon. We take very little on a pilgrimage while writing an icon. Quiet, faith, joy, salvation, hope ... these things of our immortal diet accompany us and sustain us along the way. This journey into a saint's life in Christ, this meditation of who he/she is and Whose he/she is and what God has done in and through him/her ... it is a pilgrimage of prayer.

Today, St. Michael the Archangel ... archangel of the Almighty God ... began to appear.

His name means "who is like God". He is a fighter, champion, and support for God's people. He lends confidence and courage by his presence. Daniel 12:1 says, "At that times shall arise Michael, the great prince who has charge of your people." Other versions say "protects your people", "stands for your people", "stands watch over your people", "the grand defender and guardian of your people". ... As believers in Jesus Christ, I know we have the Holy Spirit within us ... our greatest traveling companion. And, then He gives us St. Michael as well ... walking with us through times of uncertainty, sickness, pain, sadness, grief ... and even in the quiet stillness and peace. Oh how God cares for us...giving his angels to stand watch over us.

Humility, the Best Teacher

In his book, A Brush With God, Peter Pearson says, "As you paint, be prepared to learn some truly significant spiritual lessons that apply to every other aspect of your life. ... the most essential attitude to bring to this adventure is one of humility - a spiritual virtue that's greatly misunderstood. ...humility is grounded in reality. Humility is not self-deprecation but the ability to grasp clearly 'what is' without the excess baggage of ego. The ego - that habitual self-centeredness we all struggle with - takes on many forms. It's subtle and sly and unrelenting. The Gospels challenge iconographers, like all Christians, to abandon themselves to the journey that lies ahead. And this requires humility.... At every step, do the very best you can. Let go of the need to control things. ... Allow yourself to be present. Let all thoughts, ideas, and even feelings go with each moment. Never mind what lies ahead or what has gone before. As you paint, allow God to hold the concerns you carry in your hearts." p. xii-xiii

Well, today subtle, sly ego got in the way.
Let me show you...

RIGHT: I taped the area around the head for painting. Did OK.

BELOW RIGHT: Then, I took my time to layer the various tones and textures for the hair and skin tones. I know...looking at this you might think that this is where I got in the way. No, that is the color for the hair and skin. Although you can begin to see my ego appearing. When I began this layer, I thought to myself, "I can do this! We've done this before and I've learned this lesson. I know what I need to do." Hmmm. Ah, me. It should be much more red and textured. I was a bit too overzealous in my application and lost the mottled kind of texture needed for the base layer.

Now...This is where ego so got in the way...

REALLY BELOW RIGHT: The layers of skin tone are built up slowly using a cross-hatch method using slightly lighter and lighter hues of a color. This is meant to allow the base layer to shine through, giving warmth and life. You can see what happened here. Ego.
I am pretty good with making those small little lines, and  as I was cross-hatching away, I was thinking, "This is going to look really good!" And, then, my mind went to all the things happening right now in my life. My thoughts and my prayer began to focus on ...me... and not St. Michael the Archangel and his power to accomplish God's work on this earth. Sigh. I now have a sort of Ghost Busters portrayal of St. Michael.

My teacher says it is completely redeemable, but my ego stamps its feet and crossing its arms cries, "No! It's ruined!" Hogwash is the word to use in response. Was it a mistake? Yes. But, it needs forgiving and a gentle brush of a warm glaze to restore what is needed for Michael's features. It won't look like the original, but it already doesn't look like the original because I am holding the brush and not my teacher. But, that doesn't mean that at the end of the week, I won't have an icon of St. Michael the Archangel. I will just have one that flowed through my brush, with all my gifts and failings flowing through it. Ego did get in the way, but I hoped I learned a lesson in the process. Let God inspire the brush and He will shine through you. This takes humility. So...

Stay focused on God.

May God be praised. +++

PS...Here is a video about one young woman, Katie Davis founder of Amazina MInistries, whose humility is an example for me. Watch her laugh...joy will well up ...