Humility, the Best Teacher

In his book, A Brush With God, Peter Pearson says, "As you paint, be prepared to learn some truly significant spiritual lessons that apply to every other aspect of your life. ... the most essential attitude to bring to this adventure is one of humility - a spiritual virtue that's greatly misunderstood. ...humility is grounded in reality. Humility is not self-deprecation but the ability to grasp clearly 'what is' without the excess baggage of ego. The ego - that habitual self-centeredness we all struggle with - takes on many forms. It's subtle and sly and unrelenting. The Gospels challenge iconographers, like all Christians, to abandon themselves to the journey that lies ahead. And this requires humility.... At every step, do the very best you can. Let go of the need to control things. ... Allow yourself to be present. Let all thoughts, ideas, and even feelings go with each moment. Never mind what lies ahead or what has gone before. As you paint, allow God to hold the concerns you carry in your hearts." p. xii-xiii

Well, today subtle, sly ego got in the way.
Let me show you...

RIGHT: I taped the area around the head for painting. Did OK.

BELOW RIGHT: Then, I took my time to layer the various tones and textures for the hair and skin tones. I know...looking at this you might think that this is where I got in the way. No, that is the color for the hair and skin. Although you can begin to see my ego appearing. When I began this layer, I thought to myself, "I can do this! We've done this before and I've learned this lesson. I know what I need to do." Hmmm. Ah, me. It should be much more red and textured. I was a bit too overzealous in my application and lost the mottled kind of texture needed for the base layer.

Now...This is where ego so got in the way...

REALLY BELOW RIGHT: The layers of skin tone are built up slowly using a cross-hatch method using slightly lighter and lighter hues of a color. This is meant to allow the base layer to shine through, giving warmth and life. You can see what happened here. Ego.
I am pretty good with making those small little lines, and  as I was cross-hatching away, I was thinking, "This is going to look really good!" And, then, my mind went to all the things happening right now in my life. My thoughts and my prayer began to focus on ...me... and not St. Michael the Archangel and his power to accomplish God's work on this earth. Sigh. I now have a sort of Ghost Busters portrayal of St. Michael.

My teacher says it is completely redeemable, but my ego stamps its feet and crossing its arms cries, "No! It's ruined!" Hogwash is the word to use in response. Was it a mistake? Yes. But, it needs forgiving and a gentle brush of a warm glaze to restore what is needed for Michael's features. It won't look like the original, but it already doesn't look like the original because I am holding the brush and not my teacher. But, that doesn't mean that at the end of the week, I won't have an icon of St. Michael the Archangel. I will just have one that flowed through my brush, with all my gifts and failings flowing through it. Ego did get in the way, but I hoped I learned a lesson in the process. Let God inspire the brush and He will shine through you. This takes humility. So...

Stay focused on God.

May God be praised. +++

PS...Here is a video about one young woman, Katie Davis founder of Amazina MInistries, whose humility is an example for me. Watch her laugh...joy will well up ...